When it’s time to meet a girl’s parents, there’s good news and there’s bad news.  The good news is that you’ve found a girlfriend – and I assume you enjoy her company – who thinks enough of you to introduce you to the two most important people in her life.  The bad news is that, well, you’re nervous.

 

Fret no more, because this article is going to cover some basic tips and mindsets to keep in mind when you meet your girlfriend’s parents.

 

1.  Don’t cross the line from confidence into cockiness.  When people see someone who’s “too” confident, they assume that he’s compensating for deeper insecurities.  It’s the same when you meet the parents.  Think “poise,” not “posturing.”  Look them in the eye, give them firm handshakes, talk freely about your job and your passions, but don’t toot your own horn or try to out-do anyone.  Doing so crosses the line from confidence and heads into the realm of cockiness, which is a turn-off for any parent.

 

Remember one simple rule:  the way you behave is how those parents can expect you act around your boss and other authority figures.  If you’re poised, casual, and respectful, they’ll assume you hold the same poise in your professional and personal life.

 

2.  Show that you’re thoughtful.  How do you do this?  Here are a few hints:

 

  • Bring a small gift, especially if you’re meeting for dinner or will be spending the weekend with them.  Don’t go overboard; just show that you have the social know-how to pick out an appropriate gift that demonstrates your consideration of them.
  • Compliment their home and the meal; dish out other compliments only as they come to you.  Don’t over-do the compliments, but do show basic social courtesy and compliment them on the usual things.  Compliments are more genuine when they just “occurred” to you, so only add other compliments if this happens.
  • Abide under their rules.  You’re a guest in their home, so live under their rules, especially if you’re spending the night or the weekend with them.

 

3.  Be sure to remain connected with your passion.  Even if your girlfriend’s father is a big-shot CEO, don’t feel the need to downplay your own passion.  Don’t tell them about how great your pay is unless they ask; instead, talk about your career and life path with the passion that suggests you take it very seriously.