The four-step plan that helps you feel it rather than fake it….

What attracts a guy to a girl? Attractiveness? Definitely. Personality? Certainly. But, more than these things, most guys are impressed by a confident woman. Confidence is the new sexiness, intelligence and beauty all rolled into one. The problem is however, that many women are not confident about themselves, especially when they like a man a lot. Even those women who are confident in other areas of their life can find that this confidence fails them at the most critical moment when they are around men.

So what can you do to help yourself be more confident around that Somebody Special? Well, the simple fact is this; to appear confident, you must actually feel confident within. Many women think that confidence is something that can be faked, but doing this will only get you so far; eventually all your insecurities will rise to the surface. True confidence will reflect itself in your body language, the way you respond to other people and even in the way you look.

Without confidence, even the most beautiful, intelligent and wittiest of women would be at a loss. Confidence is an ingredient that is crucial if a relationship is to develop and progress beyond the first few dates so it pays to invest a bit of time on building yours up. Easier said than done? Not at all. Follow our four-step plan and get on your way to boosting your confidence around men.

1. Face your fears

What is it that makes you feel unconfident when you are around a guy? Is it the fear of being rejected? The fear of not being good enough, attractive enough, funny enough? Identifying what you are afraid of is a massive leap in the quest for gaining confidence. If you know what causes you to be unconfident, it is easier to tackle this issue; as its said: “Better the devil you know!”

2. Realise that you are not alone

Even the most self-assured person feels unconfident in relationships at one time or another. Not only is it normal to feel insecure in certain situations, it is human. So be kind to yourself, allow yourself to have your insecurities but don‘t dwell on them; recognise them and then move on. The chances are, the guy you are dating will also have something they feel insecure about.

3. Accept failure

It is important to realise that not all men like every woman, confident or otherwise. Don’t take rejection personally and don’t let it dent your expanding confidence. If everybody got married and settled down with the first man they met, the world would be a really boring place.

4. Practise, practise, practice…

Despite not being able to feign confidence, you can learn it and nurture it. The best way to do this is to relax when you are in social situations; focus on the man you are with and really listen to what he is saying instead of worrying about how you may appear to him. Just be aware that other people do not know what you are feeling on the inside, only you do. If you act confident, it will help you feel confident too. Before too long, you will find you are having to act less and less and that confidence just comes to you as naturally as incontinence once did.